it`s been a long ass weekend for me. i lost my mind, had a nervous breakdown and an anxiety attack. phone got water damaged and everybody knows that insurance does NOT cover water damage. grrrr. needless to say, thursday through monday was probably the worst 5 days of my short life. bad things happen in 3s right? well shit happened to me in 4s, 5s, 6s, etc.
and to top it all off, multiple exes that i haven't heard from in years, have been randomly popping up and wanting to rekindle what once was. uhm, i'ma believer in the fact you always gotta go back to your past to have a better look into your future but i'm not gonna let you back into my presence for you to ruin it again like you did my past. wtf i look like? to accept you back, any of you pitiful exes, it wouldn't be a smart move on my part and it would be detrimental to your health and well-being because i'm likely to go crazy and spill battery acid on your bare skin. >=) lmao. but in all seriousness, if you were an ex, or someone from the past, i'm not gonna give you a 2nd chance. it's no longer in my character to be so forgiving and understanding. if i actually choose to converse with you, but i'm short and attitudinal with my answers, take it as a hint and move along. cuz i surely have.
+FlyyGirlTiff.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
A Public Letter Of Apology.
to a certain handful of men:
if i ever told you i cared about you, this is for you. not everything may apply to you, but when you read it, you will find an apology that will make you think of yourself and specific shit i did.
i apologize for never asking questions that didn't need to be asked. [where you going, who you with, who else you fucking?] i apologize for bringing you food when you were starving. i apologize for waking up in the dead of night to answer my phone when you called. i apologize for coming to see you and spending the night with you after something traumatizing happened, when nobody else would. i apologize for giving you the last of my money to make sure you had something in your pockets when you didn't have a job. i apologize for saying "i love you" when i meant it. i apologize for missing you when you were gone. i apologize for being one of the few women you could trust and confide in. i apologize for neglecting and overlooking the flaws you had. i apologize for thinking you were perfect because you made mistakes. i apologize for supporting every move you made, even if it was against my better judgement. i apologize for the endless hours of lovemaking that made you fall asleep in my arms. i apologize for being the ONLY girl you trusted in your home alone. i apologize for being your first love. i apologize for meeting your parents and being so courteous that they still ask about me. i apologize for letting you use my phone for a week when yours was out of commission. i apologize for getting you your only christmas gift in 2005. i apologize for being the only one to tell you happy birthday one year. i apologize for waking up at 8am to make breakfast for you and your 2 friends before taking bart back home. i apologize for having the faith in you that you wouldn't cheat on me. [again]. i apologize for thinking you were human and would always make mistakes, but still loved you in spite of it. i apologize for staying up late hours for consecutive days, talking to you about everything that was bothering you. i apologize for not being upset with you after you lost my ipod. i apologize for knowing that i'm not perfect and admitting to every time i made a mistake. i apologize for being the last person standing by your side every time after the dust settled.
yes that is alot to apologize for but let's get one thing straight. i do apologize for it all but i am NOT, i repeat, i am NOT,
SORRY! and you will never hear me say that. simply because i am not a sorry person. yes, i've made mistakes that i can own up to but none of those mistakes classify me as "sorry". for those specific few that i'm addressing this letter of apology towards? as a person, i was disappointed by you that you took me for granted. but as a woman, a mature woman for the tender age of 19, i understand absolutely why each of you have done what you did. although you are outstandingly different, you are all remarkably the same. while your style, speech, friends and dreams may differ, you are all still young men chasing after what young men chase after. money and women. yes women. plural. none of you are ready to be tied down to any one woman. which is completely understandable. but me? and other young women like myself, won't always be in the shadows waiting for you to be ready. to wrap this up, i'm basically apologizing for being everything you obviously WEREN'T ready for.
+FlyyGirlTiff.
if i ever told you i cared about you, this is for you. not everything may apply to you, but when you read it, you will find an apology that will make you think of yourself and specific shit i did.
i apologize for never asking questions that didn't need to be asked. [where you going, who you with, who else you fucking?] i apologize for bringing you food when you were starving. i apologize for waking up in the dead of night to answer my phone when you called. i apologize for coming to see you and spending the night with you after something traumatizing happened, when nobody else would. i apologize for giving you the last of my money to make sure you had something in your pockets when you didn't have a job. i apologize for saying "i love you" when i meant it. i apologize for missing you when you were gone. i apologize for being one of the few women you could trust and confide in. i apologize for neglecting and overlooking the flaws you had. i apologize for thinking you were perfect because you made mistakes. i apologize for supporting every move you made, even if it was against my better judgement. i apologize for the endless hours of lovemaking that made you fall asleep in my arms. i apologize for being the ONLY girl you trusted in your home alone. i apologize for being your first love. i apologize for meeting your parents and being so courteous that they still ask about me. i apologize for letting you use my phone for a week when yours was out of commission. i apologize for getting you your only christmas gift in 2005. i apologize for being the only one to tell you happy birthday one year. i apologize for waking up at 8am to make breakfast for you and your 2 friends before taking bart back home. i apologize for having the faith in you that you wouldn't cheat on me. [again]. i apologize for thinking you were human and would always make mistakes, but still loved you in spite of it. i apologize for staying up late hours for consecutive days, talking to you about everything that was bothering you. i apologize for not being upset with you after you lost my ipod. i apologize for knowing that i'm not perfect and admitting to every time i made a mistake. i apologize for being the last person standing by your side every time after the dust settled.
yes that is alot to apologize for but let's get one thing straight. i do apologize for it all but i am NOT, i repeat, i am NOT,
SORRY! and you will never hear me say that. simply because i am not a sorry person. yes, i've made mistakes that i can own up to but none of those mistakes classify me as "sorry". for those specific few that i'm addressing this letter of apology towards? as a person, i was disappointed by you that you took me for granted. but as a woman, a mature woman for the tender age of 19, i understand absolutely why each of you have done what you did. although you are outstandingly different, you are all remarkably the same. while your style, speech, friends and dreams may differ, you are all still young men chasing after what young men chase after. money and women. yes women. plural. none of you are ready to be tied down to any one woman. which is completely understandable. but me? and other young women like myself, won't always be in the shadows waiting for you to be ready. to wrap this up, i'm basically apologizing for being everything you obviously WEREN'T ready for.
+FlyyGirlTiff.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Rumors.
i been hearing alot of rumors floating around lately. mostly about ME but it's funny. the people spreading rumors are people i used to be close to. people i used to be with alot. never confided in them much cuz i have trust issues but they were around. whas even funnier is that the rumors they're spreading about me, are truths about them! don't try to make me a scapegoat to take shame off yourself. i don't give a fuck what people say or think but don't spread no false shit. i ain't hardly tryna hear it. do you really want me to say some incriminting shit? like the girl who said i was fucking on my stepdad and was pregnant by him. you must not want nobody to know how scandalous you are for doing that. your momma gon have a fit when that baby pop out lookin like her husband. shit how stupid does that look on you?! for doing that and for saying it was me?! bitch i ain't even got no stepdad! or the bitch that got fucked by a corona bottle in a room full of niggas, videotaped and all the shit but said it was me. uhhh i saw that tape and i seen your face. strangely enough, it looked like you was enjoying that shit. if thas the case, i got some niggas for you lil mama.
i can go on and on but this blog would be entirely too long. i'ma just end it with this: don't be the first to throw rocks when you live in a glass house. cuz i got enough ammunition to shatter them ALL.
+FlyyGirlTiff.
i can go on and on but this blog would be entirely too long. i'ma just end it with this: don't be the first to throw rocks when you live in a glass house. cuz i got enough ammunition to shatter them ALL.
+FlyyGirlTiff.
Love's Deceit.
i've been bamboozled by love's deceit/the feeling of vacancy has never cut so deep/my soul is so broken, you made me so weak/my mind is frazzled, my feelings scattered/nothing else in my world right now seems to matter/3 words you said you could have never meant/more than just a surface wound, it has more depth/deeper than you can imagine, than you can possibly know/it`s more painful to feel because it doesn`t show/no wounds to see, no bruises from blows/such an unexpected turn of events/i suppose/it's to keep me alert, keep me on my toes/but it`s made me reclusive, my heart is closed/could you understand the damage you've caused, the energy you stole/impossible to believe that you still have me in a hold/ing onto what i can only dream of occurring between you and i/how amazing after all that you've done to me, i'm still at your side/faithfully, loyally, a true ride or die/but you will never know because this love story we tell is nothing but lies.
+FlyyGirlTiff.
p.s. feel free to comment. feedback is necessary on this one. thanks.
+FlyyGirlTiff.
p.s. feel free to comment. feedback is necessary on this one. thanks.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Pre-Teen Parents!
i couldn't believe this article when i read it. a 13 year old boy and 15 year old girl have a newborn baby girl in Britain. what is the world coming to? the link is below. read the article for yourself.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece
+FlyyGirlTiff.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece
+FlyyGirlTiff.
Ain't Shit Niggas, Ain't Shit Bitches.
arrite. i been hearin alot of girls say that niggas ain't shit and niggas sayin the same thing about females. well here's my philosophy on that statement and others like it.
the people that say someone else "ain't shit" don't got shit going for themselves. ain't it funny how ALLLLL the people they fuck wit "ain't shit"? ever think yo ass wasn't shit either? maybe thas why you keep attracting someone that "ain't shit".
or when someone says "that nigga ain't shit" or "that bitch weak as fuck" is cuz they didn't do something you expected. the shit ain't in they character to break their back for you. they're strong minded and used to doing things of their own accord. y'all 2 different people that ain't got no business being together. lol.
OR it's someone that is stuck in some awful ass pattern of fucking wit the same type of person. like when a nigga ONLY talks to boppin ass hoodrats and wonders why he burnin EVERY time he fuck wit a new bitch. or when a female STAYS talkin to niggas that disrespect her on multiple levels and wonders why EVERY nigga she talk to calls her a bitch. you would think they'd break out them patterns and do better than what they did before.
sike! the human subconscious subjects certain people to put up with shit they shouldn't because of the THOUGHT of love. the THOUGHT of being in love is as appealing to them as ACTUALLY being in love. [tricky little bastard that love is.]
so before you let the words "you ain't shit" slip from your mouth, betta take a second to think about why you saying it.
+FlyyGirlTiff.
the people that say someone else "ain't shit" don't got shit going for themselves. ain't it funny how ALLLLL the people they fuck wit "ain't shit"? ever think yo ass wasn't shit either? maybe thas why you keep attracting someone that "ain't shit".
or when someone says "that nigga ain't shit" or "that bitch weak as fuck" is cuz they didn't do something you expected. the shit ain't in they character to break their back for you. they're strong minded and used to doing things of their own accord. y'all 2 different people that ain't got no business being together. lol.
OR it's someone that is stuck in some awful ass pattern of fucking wit the same type of person. like when a nigga ONLY talks to boppin ass hoodrats and wonders why he burnin EVERY time he fuck wit a new bitch. or when a female STAYS talkin to niggas that disrespect her on multiple levels and wonders why EVERY nigga she talk to calls her a bitch. you would think they'd break out them patterns and do better than what they did before.
sike! the human subconscious subjects certain people to put up with shit they shouldn't because of the THOUGHT of love. the THOUGHT of being in love is as appealing to them as ACTUALLY being in love. [tricky little bastard that love is.]
so before you let the words "you ain't shit" slip from your mouth, betta take a second to think about why you saying it.
+FlyyGirlTiff.
Questions about MY first love.
man. so remember the blog i wrote about my first love moving on? alot of people have been asking me if we've spoken recently. yes we have, but the conversation was short. there's not alot to say to each other anymore. but there's a few questions people keep asking me so i'll answer em all here. the first ["have you spoke to him?"] question i already answered. here's the other FAQs.
-"do you still love him?"
of course i do. when it's a first love, that shit never goes away easily. we aren't supposed to be together and that's something i'm living with.
-"if you love him still, why won't you tell him?"
i have. he knows. he's in love with someone else so how i feel about him isn't as important as how she feels about him. which is the way it should be. i truly hope she makes him happy cuz he deserves the best, someone that'll always be there for him. when he needs her most and when he thinks he doesn't need her at all.
-"why are you acting so strong about it when it must kill you to see him happy with someone else?"
i'm not acting. i am strong. our love didn't sustain. just a lesson of life that i learned from. and no it doesn't kill me to see him happy with someone else. he's happy. thas all that matters to me. he's happy, i'm happy. even if it's not with me.
-"do you think y'all could ever work back out?"
i don't think along those lines. it's something i consider in my past and thas where i DON'T live. i live for now, for today, for tomorrow. it's always possible to be back with someone from your past but it's not something to dwell on. so i don't.
now! i feel i answered every question asked. and please stop updating me on his actions and the latest person he's talking to. if he really wanted me to know, he'd tell me himself. or i'd ask. he doesn't and i don't so that means we have 2 lives that don't cross paths anymore. so stop tryna force them to cross.
+FlyyGirlTiff.
-"do you still love him?"
of course i do. when it's a first love, that shit never goes away easily. we aren't supposed to be together and that's something i'm living with.
-"if you love him still, why won't you tell him?"
i have. he knows. he's in love with someone else so how i feel about him isn't as important as how she feels about him. which is the way it should be. i truly hope she makes him happy cuz he deserves the best, someone that'll always be there for him. when he needs her most and when he thinks he doesn't need her at all.
-"why are you acting so strong about it when it must kill you to see him happy with someone else?"
i'm not acting. i am strong. our love didn't sustain. just a lesson of life that i learned from. and no it doesn't kill me to see him happy with someone else. he's happy. thas all that matters to me. he's happy, i'm happy. even if it's not with me.
-"do you think y'all could ever work back out?"
i don't think along those lines. it's something i consider in my past and thas where i DON'T live. i live for now, for today, for tomorrow. it's always possible to be back with someone from your past but it's not something to dwell on. so i don't.
now! i feel i answered every question asked. and please stop updating me on his actions and the latest person he's talking to. if he really wanted me to know, he'd tell me himself. or i'd ask. he doesn't and i don't so that means we have 2 lives that don't cross paths anymore. so stop tryna force them to cross.
+FlyyGirlTiff.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
